Toilet Training
Building trust and your patience, are the keys to success. Toilet training goes through several stages and the time it takes for each child to be potty trained varies enormously.

Training includes -
•Your child telling you they have to go to the toilet
•Undressing
•Going
•Wiping
•Dressing
•And finally washing hands.

Each step will take time to learn, and remember to praise your child's success at each step.

Most of the signs that your child is ready to potty train will emerge between 18-24 months of age.

Some of these signs are -

•Your child can follow simple instructions.
•Your child seems uncomfortable with soiled diapers and wants to be changed.
•Your child asks to use the toilet or potty-chair.
•Your child stays dry at least two hours at a time during the day or is dry after naps.
•Bowel movements are regular and predictable.
•Facial expression, posture or words reveal that your child is about to urinate or have a bowel movement.
•Your child will tell you that they have a dirty nappy.

Make trips to the potty as routine as possible, for example first thing in the morning or after meals. Keep them on the toilet for only a few minutes at a time. If the child strongly resists then don't persist. Resistance may mean that it is not the right time to start potty training.
Also it may take time for your child to learn to relax the muscles that control the bowel and bladder.

Tips
•Make sure their clothing is easy to get on and off.
•Remember to praise.
•Don't put too much pressure on them by just standing and watching. You could sing or read to them.
•Never punish a child for an accident.
•Using cloth diapers means the child can feel the wetness and associate it with the feeling of going to the toilet.

Crawling
Are you wondering when your baby is finally going to start crawling? They may have been rolling around the room for a couple of months, and inching along on their tummy, or even getting up on all fours and rocking back and forth, they haven't quite figured out how to get their arms and legs coordinated so they can go places.

If you're curious to know when your baby is going to start crawling, keep in mind that crawling usually happens after your baby has mastered the art of sitting. Crawling sometimes doesn't happen until several months after they learn to sit, although some babies learn to crawl first and sit soon afterwards. A baby's desire and enthusiasm to crawl will coincide with their desire to lie on their stomach. They may have once hated tummy time, but once they can roll over themselves and get used to laying on their belly, and have then started to get up on all fours, crawling should follow soon after.

Floor time play should be encouraged, so your baby can discover the art of holding their head up and pushing up on their hands. A proper crawling position, which is moving along deliberately with the tummy off the ground, is unusual before six months.

However, even though your baby has not fully mastered crawling, it doesn’t mean that they are totally unable to move at all, so be mindful that they can easily put themselves in dangerous situations. You may turn your back for an instant and turn around to find that they have inched their way over to the TV cord or are pulling at a low-hanging tablecloth! Now is the time to child-proof your house, if you have not already done so -- it's better to take care of this now, while your baby is still relatively stationary, because once they're crawling, they will really get into things! 

If your baby objects to lying on their tummy and prefers to lay on their back, don't fear -- they are probably just enjoying the social contact of watching you. Once they are old enough to roll onto their stomach independently, they will do so, so there is no need to force them to spend time on their stomach.

You can encourage tummy time by laying them on their belly across your lap, propping them up on their tummy on a breastfeeding or tri-pillow (supervised, so that they don't slide face-down into the pillow), or putting them on their tummy on a play mat with interesting textures and sounds. You can also get right down onto the floor and make eye contact with them -- sometimes a close-up audience is all a baby needs in order to spend time on their tummy without a fuss!

Not all babies will learn to crawl at the same time. Some take two days to master the skill, while some take two months to really get going. Some babies don't crawl at all -- they learn to sit and then they bum-shuffle around, or simply spend lots of time rolling to their desired destination. Some babies go right from sitting into pulling up on furniture and cruising around. Often at about the ninth month, when a baby may just begin crawling, the direction may be wrong and they may go backwards instead of the intended forward. There is no set "normal" for crawling.

You do not need to help your baby learn how to crawl or sit, just give them plenty of opportunities to learn it themselves. Here are some things to remember:

• Let them play on the floor
• Protect their soft skin on their knees
• Move dangers out of their way
• Place objects and interesting toys just out of reach so they have the motivation to move toward them

Child Development

Encouraging your babys development starts from birth. Lots of kisses cuddles and love, help your baby to feel secure and loved, breastfeeding also instills that sense of love and bonding that your baby needs.

Gently stimulating your baby through social interaction, talking to him/her, toys and activities to play with and even your daily routine will all aid in your babys learning to understand things and starting to communicate.

Lots of love and encouragement and really enjoying the learning process is so important for your baby's development now and in the early years. This includes communicating and such stages as first words and crawling and walking.

Listed below are some helpful tips to encourage your baby's development:

• Chat to your baby, spacing your words so that she notices gaps between words. Soon she will be trying to immitate your talking.

• Sing to your baby, even if you don't have the most beautiful voice in the world, your baby will appreciate it and enjoy it. Not only will he be soothed by the sound and tunes he'll soon want to try and sing along.

• Try and hold your baby in a position where she can see your face. Newborns can focus on things about 25cm from their face.
•Hang a mobile over her cot for her to focus on the shapes and colours(a musical mobile is even better).

•Give your baby bright and colourful toys to play with, colours that contrast against each other will help him differentiate each area.

• Try lying your baby on his tummy, he won't be able to move around much at first, but it will strengthen his neck muscles. Make sure you're around and there are things around that your baby will want to look at, rather than just lying there.

• Listen to your babys noises and respond to them. That way she knows she is being listened to and its the starting point of her communication skills.

• As he gets older start putting him on your knee so that he begins to support himself. It won't be long until he's sitting up on his own.

• Following a daily routine such as breakfast, playtime, lunch, naptime, dinner, bath and bedtime will help your growing baby to anticipate the next daily event. Your baby will also associate different objects to such events, such as the high chair for food time or towels for bathtime.

•Reading books and looking at picture books everyday and making it fun, helps associate reading and books with enjoyment. This will help to encourage reading and booktime as baby grows.

•To encourage crawling, put toys just out of baby's reach so she has to stretch to reach the toy.

• Work on understanding the meaning of your baby's different crying styles as this your babys early means of communication. He could be bored, hungry, tired or simply want attention.

Team Parents
BY DR MATT SANDERS
“Don’t argue in front of the children”, is an admonishment many parents may have heard at one time or another.

As a psychologist I know the wisdom in this advice, but after many years working with families I don’t believe in giving parents a hard time simply for disagreeing about how to deal with their children’s behaviour — conflict between partners over parenting issues is common and to be expected.

What is important for parents to learn is how to deal positively with these differences through good communication. Communication allows parents to work together as a team and thus minimises the impact of any conflict on their child’s development.

And why is this so important?

Because children do best in a stable, predictable, caring home environment where conflict is low, communication is clear and disagreements are resolved without recourse to anger, violence or repression.

Of course working as a team isn’t always easy. Each parent brings to the relationship their own beliefs, values, expectations and skills. They are influenced by childhood memories of their own parents, their life experiences, the opinions of relatives and friends — even what they may read about in a daily newspaper!

It is understandable then that parents will have different ideas about how to raise children and how family life should operate.

It is also difficult to work together as parents when a couple’s relationship may be strained by the day-to-day demands of a family, particularly if children are young or their behaviour is difficult to manage.

But that’s no reason to be pessimistic about the prospects for a united parenting front.

I have seen many couples over the past 10 years learn new ways to work together on parenting issues, look after their relationship, and use specific problem solving steps to resolve disagreements. These parents were able to present a consistent approach in the way each of them responded to their child’s behaviour and so made the job of parenting less stressful and their family life more enjoyable.

One of the keys to working well together as parents is to support each other. For example, if your partner is managing a problem behaviour, you can support them by following through with discipline.  Better to back up your partner than to interfere by coming to the rescue or taking the tough guy role.

If you are unhappy with the way your partner has handled a situation, wait until it is over and find a time to calmly discuss what happened. Remember though, that talking and sharing your ideas effectively involves also listening to your partner’s points of view and acknowledging that you have understood them correctly.

Bad communication habits to be avoided when discussing parenting issues with your partner include raising your voice, interrupting, being sarcastic, not listening, and talking over the top of each other.

It also helps to put aside a little time each day to talk together about your partner’s day, especially where only one parent has been with your child. Talk about pleasant, fun things that occurred as well as any problems. And remember to praise and congratulate your partner when you think they’ve done a good job.

PARENTING TIP: Sometimes one parent can be unhappy in a relationship without the other knowing. If you are unhappy you need to talk to your partner about how you feel, because otherwise you face the risk of this stress affecting your relationship with your children as well as your partner. It may be difficult for you to talk, but plan a time where you will not be interrupted by your children and try to speak calmly about how you feel without dumping on your partner. Seek professional advice if you find yourself unable to resolve the problem.

Dr Matt Sanders, is a clinical psychologist at the University of Queensland and founder of the Triple P Positive Parenting Program.